'I feel betrayed' – former hostage Ofer Calderon breaks silence, criticizes Israeli government, describes ongoing trauma

Former hostage Ofer Calderon was released at the beginning of 2025 as part of the internationally brokered ceasefire between Israel and the Hamas terrorist organization.

During an interview on Friday with Israel's N12 News, Calderon spoke about the trauma he continues to experience and his disappointment with the Israeli government.

"I feel betrayed by my country. I am an excellent citizen, and I gave my all. I don't understand it," Calderon told N12. "The body has a death instinct. You are physically alive, but you feel dead."

Calderon, a dual French-Israeli citizen, husband, and father of four, was kidnapped by Hamas terrorists on Oct. 7, 2023, from his home in Nir Oz, a rural community near the Gaza border. His children, Erez and Sahar, who were also abducted, were released in November 2023 as part of the first hostage deal.

He recalled the traumatic events during the Oct. 7, 2023 massacre.

"I cried the tears of my life because I realized that there was nothing I could do. I have a loaded gun, but how do I protect my children in this situation?" he told the media outlet. Two members of his family were brutally murdered by Hamas.

Calderon, who was released with Yarden Bibas and dual U.S.-Israeli citizen Keith Siegel, revealed that he had met the late Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar during his captivity in Gaza.

"He passed through the tunnel and talked to us. I recognized him immediately," he recalled.

In October 2024, the Israeli military eliminated Sinwar in a firefight in southern Gaza.

Calderon said he is struggling not only with the mental trauma and scars of Oct. 7 and his prolonged ordeal in Gaza, but also with the total loss of his livelihood. Hamas terrorists destroyed his carpentry shop during the attack on Nir Oz, leaving him without an income and unable to return to the community he once called home.

In a social media post on Friday, Calderon admitted that he has been too traumatized to return to Nir Oz and appealed to the Israeli public for help in rebuilding his life and supporting his family, as the shop had been their sole source of income. A cycling group he belonged to before Oct. 7 launched a crowdfunding campaign to help them.

"I never imagined that I would write a post like this," Calderon admitted. "But today I understand that I have no choice, some things must come out of me. 484 days in Hamas captivity and I still have not truly returned to life. My dream is to feel like a father again who can protect my children and my family,” he continued.

"The morning of October 7 is the moment when my life fell apart. Before my eyes, when I was wounded and bleeding, Hamas terrorists kidnapped my two children, Sahar, 16, and Erez, who was only 12 at the time," he continued in the post.

"Then I was dragged to Gaza, humiliated and helpless. That moment, when Erez was torn from my hands and Sahar was being led on a motorcycle between two terrorists, is a nightmare that comes back every night and never lets me go."

Looking ahead, Calderon does not believe that he will ever return to Nir Oz, which he now associates with death and destruction.

"People ask me if I will go back to live there, and I can’t even imagine it. Every corner of the kibbutz is a memory of the nightmare that has become my life."