The joy that hurts: The cost of following Christ in a culture that reveres tradition

In cultures where family honor and tradition are everything, following Christ can feel like lighting a match in a house built of dreams.

Every time I attend a wedding, a quiet ache stirs in my heart. Not because I dislike weddings — I truly love the celebration. But because in every groom, I see the son someone once dreamed I would become.

In many traditional communities, marriage isn’t just a personal milestone. It’s the ultimate symbol of family success, pride, and legacy. Parents dream of the day their child will stand tall, start a family, and carry on the name. They picture themselves dancing, celebrating, and weeping tears of joy.

But following Jesus changed everything. It didn’t just shift the direction of my eternity — it altered the expectations of those who raised me.

Between Two Worlds

Scripture calls us to walk in spiritual unity, including in marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14). But in some cultures, such a choice is seen as betrayal. Choosing a Christ-centered marriage can mean walking away from everything your family once hoped for you — and everything they thought made you honorable.

So the question that lingers in my soul is this:

Do I follow the traditions that shaped me, or do I follow the Savior who redeemed me? Even if it costs me the joy of those I love most?

Every time I see a groom dance with his mother, something deep within me stirs. I think, “That was part of the dream too… to dance, to celebrate, to belong.”
And sometimes, that thought aches more than words can hold.

But in those moments, I return to the words of Jesus:

“Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”
— Matthew 19:29

To Those on This Road

This isn’t just my story. It’s the story of many who have chosen Christ and, in doing so, felt the weight of sorrow fall upon the homes they love.

If your family sees you as ungrateful, lost, or disloyal — and yet your heart burns for the Lord — know this:

God sees you. He knows your tears. You’re not rejecting your family — you’re simply loving Him first.

Jesus didn’t offer us a safe road. He offered a narrow one. And He said hard things like:

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters — yes, even their own life — such a person cannot be my disciple.”
— Luke 14:26
(Note: “Hate” here means to love Him more — to choose Him above all.)

There will be more weddings. More bittersweet moments. But don’t let that ache drown your peace. The Lord sees. The Lord remembers. The Lord will reward.

A Greater Hope

This path may not look the way we imagined — but in Christ, there is a deeper hope:

• Hope that your quiet obedience will one day shine light into your family.
• Hope for a Christ-centered marriage built on truth and grace.
• Hope that what you’ve sown in sorrow will be reaped in joy.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
— Romans 8:18

We are many. We are not forgotten.
We are strangers here — but known in Heaven.
We sow in tears, but we will reap in joy (Psalm 126:5).

A Final Word to the Church

If this finds you in a place of spiritual freedom — where following Jesus hasn’t cost you your family — please, remember us. Pray for those who have given up everything to walk with Christ. Stand with us in faith. And believe: our God is faithful. Even if it takes a lifetime, He will turn mourning into joy.

The narrow road is hard. But it leads to life.